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In typical graph neural networks (GNNs), feature representation learning naturally evolves through iteratively updating node features and exchanging information based on graph topology. In this context, we conceptualize that the learning process in GNNs is a mean-field game (MFG), where each graph node is an agent, interacting with its topologically connected neighbors. However, current GNNs often employ the identical MFG strategy across different graph datasets, regardless of whether the graph exhibits homophilic or heterophilic characteristics. To address this challenge, we propose to formulate the learning mechanism into a variational framework of the MFG inverse problem, introducing an in-context selective message passing paradigm for each agent, which promotes the best overall outcome for the graph. Specifically, we seek for the application-adaptive transportation function (controlling information exchange throughout the graph) and reaction function (controlling feature representation learning on each agent), *on the fly*, which allows us to uncover the most suitable selective mechanism of message passing by solving an MFG variational problem through the lens of Hamiltonian flows. Taken together, our variational framework unifies existing GNN models into various mean-field games with distinct equilibrium states, each characterized by the learned in-context message passing operators. Furthermore, we present an agnostic end-to-end deep model, coined *Game-of-GNN*, to jointly identify the message passing mechanism and fine-tune the GNN hyper-parameters on top of the elucidated message passing operators. *Game-of-GNN* has achieved SOTA performance on diverse graph data, including popular benchmark datasets and human connectomes. More importantly, the mathematical insight of MFG framework provides a new window to understand the foundational principles of graph learning as an interactive dynamical system, which allows us to reshape the idea of designing next-generation GNN models.