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Electroencephalography (EEG) offers a non-invasive lens into human brain activity, but building large‐scale models is hampered by $\textit{topological heterogeneity}$: each public corpus defines its own electrode layout, limiting generalization. We introduce $\textbf{LUNA}$ ($\textbf{L}$atent $\textbf{U}$nified $\textbf{N}$etwork $\textbf{A}$rchitecture), a self-supervised foundation model that reconciles disparate electrode geometries while scaling linearly---not quadratically---with channel count. LUNA compresses multi-channel EEG into a fixed-size, topology-agnostic latent space via learned queries and cross-attention. Downstream transformer blocks then operate exclusively on this latent representation using patch-wise temporal self-attention, decoupling computation from electrode count. Pre-trained on TUEG and Siena ($\>$21,000 h raw EEG across diverse montages) using a masked-patch reconstruction objective, LUNA transfers effectively to four downstream tasks: abnormality detection, artifact rejection, slowing classification, and emotion recognition. It demonstrates highly competitive performance across several benchmarks, achieving state-of-the-art results on TUAR and TUSL, e.g., $\textbf{0.921 AUROC}$ on TUAR, while reducing FLOPs by $\textbf{300}$$\times$ and trimming GPU memory use by up to $\textbf{10}$$\times$. Critically, these gains are consistent across all evaluated electrode configurations. Code is available at https://github.com/pulp-bio/biofoundation